


By your Mariner's Moon

by Chiwibel



Category: Masquerada: Songs and Shadows (Video Game)
Genre: Denial, F/M, Grief/Mourning, M/M, Mutual Pining, One-Sided Attraction, Pre-Slash, Sexuality Crisis, Spoilers, post-epilogue
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-15
Updated: 2017-03-16
Packaged: 2018-10-05 18:53:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,406
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10314770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chiwibel/pseuds/Chiwibel
Summary: Kalden suffers in silence while a recovering Cicero tries to have a conversation that goes nowhere and everywhere.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I finished this game this morning (wow, Lucia was something else) and I have many feeling for the entire cast. I want this to be multichaptered but as it is, it can stand on his own while I try to get more people into the fandom.
> 
> But rest assured that, someday in the future, I'll write Cicero's side of things. And maybe some Vasco/Tiziana.
> 
> (I headcanon Vasco as a trans man but I think that's something better kept for myself so I won't say anything else about that)
> 
> Anyways, just fyi, I fought Lucia with Kalden and Tiziana in my party. I love them so much I want to cry.
> 
> And just because I haven't mentioned Amadea yet... I love her too, really. I'm impressed at how this game made me love all characters.

Blood.

 

Everywhere.

 

Everywhere but inside Cicero’s body.

 

_Stop the bleeding, Kalden_ , Tiziana screamed.

 

_Focus, Kalden_ , his brother’s voice told him in the middle of his racing thoughts.

 

Kalden held Cicero’s cooling body, a body covered in blood, so much of it, so empty of it, and asked for the miracle the gods, whoever they might have once been, never granted him for Jaxus. He almost salted, again, trying to bring his friend back to them, to him.

 

He almost gave up.

 

And then, light.

 

* * *

 

The week that followed Lucia’s death was a somber one. They tried to smile to one another but he could hear Amadea crying at night. Tiziana managed to made them fill their days with tasks and distractions, life goes on, she said, dragging Vasco with her to somewhere, anywhere, that got him to do anything else than playing the same ominous song over and over.

 

Kalden had an orphanage to run, lives to take care of, and even if he wasn’t alone to tend to his children (they had an aunt now, an _aunt_ ), there were things he had to do himself.

 

And yet, it was difficult to be away from Cicero’s sleeping body for long periods of time.

 

Amadea usually kept him company. Or maybe he was keeping _her_ company. It was obvious that her time with Cicero had cut deep.

 

Deep, like his wounds.

 

Kalden forced himself to think about anything else.

 

He prayed to Razitof’s gods every now and then, no matter that he didn’t actually know how, and asked his brother to please, bring Cicero back to the mortal realm. Sometimes he even asked Jaxus for the same thing before feeling guilty of such thing. Ages, was he that desperate?

 

When Cicero eventually opened his eyes, Kalden realized that yes, yes he was. To jump right back into action without second thoughts nor regrets and be happy about it… Still, adventures rarely lasted a life time, if one survived them all, and while he had plans on how to spend his last days…

 

“You know”, Cicero started, distracting Kalden from his thoughts a night not long after he woke up, “the war left many orphans behind”.

 

“They’ll be all welcomed under my roof, let there be no doubt about that”, Kalden said, unsure of where was his friend going with the conversation he just started. They were alone, waiting for the twins to pick them up near the docks.

 

“I doubted you once, Kal”, and never again”. Cicero bit his lower lip before continuing, looking ahead to the sea, “But the facts are, Mariner, that as welcoming your lovely place can be, it’s sadly not big enough for all the orphans”.

 

Kalden didn’t know if he liked or not what Cicero was implying, but he understood. As much as it had been _their_ , Jaxus and his, home, it wouldn’t be enough in the long run.

 

Why would his friend worry about that, out of everything they should have been thinking about then, well…

 

Cicero seemed to be expecting an answer to his unspoken question, when none came he kept talking. “You know, Ven wrote a will just before everything”. The sudden change of topic brought the Mariner’s suspicious side to the surface. Cicero seemed too distraught over it to notice, fighting back the tears of a mourning not yet finished, though. “He left me his land and anything above it”.

 

Oh.

 

“Oh?”

 

“Maybe the Sailheart could use a change of scenery?”

 

_Oh._

 

“Cicero, I can’t…”, Kalden started, looking for the right words to say.

 

“I thought so”, his friend told him letting his shoulders fall. Disappointment appeared on his features and it was then that Kalden realized Cicero had been hoping for something. “I’m still rebuilding the Astiguary anyways, but I’m open to name suggestions”.

 

“Why not keep it as it is?”

 

“The Astiguary was Ven’s life, not mine. Besides, I don’t see myself as a barkeeper”.

 

“But running an Orphanage seems like your thing?”, Kalden said, laughing. “I’ve pictured you giving orders to men and women in the middle of expeditions and battles, making big discoveries until your last breath… Not playing _knights and horses_ with kids!”

 

Cicero frowned and hit Kalden with his elbow, “stop it, Kal! Don’t know what I was thinking talking to you about this”.

 

Neither did Kalden himself and asking why was something he wasn’t ready for. Not yet, at least. Still, remembering those horrible nights where all he could do was wait and beg for the chance to hear his friend’s voice again brought him nightmares whenever he managed to catch some sleep. His feelings for Cicero, how deep they went, were the newest elephant in the room for his vast collection of them.

 

Cicero wasn’t Jaxus, and Kalden never wished he were, but that meant his friend would not look his way for something beyond whatever they already had. Letting him get closer, if possible, could only end in silent heartbreak or a dead friendship. And Cicero held too much value in his life to let him get away just because Kalden failed to keep his heart in control.

 

Besides, Cicero seemed happy whenever he was with Amadea.

 

By his Mariner’s Moon, that would have to be enough.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cicero's heart yearns for an answer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll be forever... salty (ha) that while this game was amazing and Kalden's personal storyline was simply incredible, Masquerada became another game that ignores bisexuality altogether. Maybe in the sequel we'll get more on that? Please? I really want a sequel for this game.
> 
> I understand denial, I understand not being "straight enough" or "queer enough" to please one group or another, groups that forget what the B in LGBT stands for. As of this writing, I'm still in the closet in regards of my family and even some supposedly close friends (this doesn't mean I'm not willing to talk about anything of it, because I AM).
> 
> Honestly, as long as you don't lie to yourself, you'll be fine. Or at least I hope you'll be fine. Lie to the world if you must to keep yourself safe from whatever enviroment you're in at the moment, not everyone can have a nice coming out. Sadly, not everyone has.
> 
> On another note, I do like how the game shows the start of something between Cicero and Amadea, it's slow but it's there. Subtle hints of romance are better than love confessions out of nowhere. Still, the same goes for his relationship with Kalden. Ignoring Amadea and his feelings for her is a no-no in my opinion. But ignoring the chemistry between the Inspettore and the Mariner is a bigger NO-NO-NO.
> 
> You know the "if it's you it's okay" or "I'm not gay, I'm just into you" or whatever you might call the trope is... stupid. There, I said it. Stories about realizing one's sexuality that end up being like that just to play it safe with audiences are cheap.
> 
> My writing is also cheap and my English couldn't be more broken but... yeah. Wow, this got long. I could keep talking (and maybe I will in the next chapter's notes) but this is more than enought for a start.
> 
> Cicero came back to Ombre to shatter all kinds of convictions with style.
> 
> And pain. And pining.

Cicero was disappointed.

 

For some reason, he had expected Kalden to agree and rebuild the Astiguary as a bigger and better Sailheart. They had the space and the resources for not one but two or three orphanages.

 

What Cicero could never provide were the memories Kalden had lived with Jaxus. He was indeed jealous of a dead man, a dead man fearless enough to scream how much he loved his Mariner to the world.

 

Kalden said that it was his fear that took Jaxus away. Cicero didn’t think so but his own fear would drive him away from Kalden for sure, if he kept going in circles about stupid plans that hadn’t left his mind since he woke up.

 

Opening his eyes with Kalden as the first thing he saw that day gave birth to a thought he fought against for days: he wanted Kalden to be the first thing he say every day.

 

It was horrible.

 

He wasn’t like him. Not that there was anything wrong with it, being talios, but…

 

It wasn’t right either. Not for him.

 

Not for the man that tried to pursue a woman while clinging to another man. Because he just couldn’t take Amadea, her smile and her soft hands out of the picture that was his life. They had plans, travels and discoveries to make. They had a world to build and there Cicero was, thinking about children and a mourning heart that had lost everything and yet it kept going.

 

“Ombre to Cicero”.

 

Vasco.

 

And Oli.

 

His friend was standing in front of him, crouching to put their faces on the same level. Cicero remembered they were outside the ruins of the Hall of Songs, he had arranged a meeting with Orlana there and he was expecting her sitting under the remains of a dead tree.

 

“Sorry, Vasco”, Cicero said standing up, “my recovery failed to prove itself as a fast process”.

 

“As long as it is a steady one, you needn’t worry, my friend”, Vasco assured him. “But I know there’s something else, you can hardly keep things from me, you know”.

 

Cicero laughed. “Why do I even bother? Don’t worry too much or you’ll start stuttering again. Thank you for your concern, anyways”.

 

“Let me guess, we’ll talk about this when you’re ready and in the meantime you’ll let this secret fester inside you until another murder case brings another forgotten civilizarion back to the surface”.

 

“Hopefully not!” Said Cicero entranced by Vasco’s cheap humor, “who knows where they kept the souls of their people, maybe in their footwear?”

 

“Or trousers!”

 

“ _ Ees _ !”

 

“See? Oli agrees”, Vasco said, putting an arm around Cicero’s shoulders, “But seriously, we’re all worried for you. Amadea would have asked already if Jezero and the Maskrunners didn’t keep most of her attention these days”.

 

Amadea, of course. He must have made a weird face because Vasco frowned. Oli chirped and climbed his arm to sit on their shoulders.

 

“Did something  _ not  _ happen between you both?”, Vasco asked. Cicero noted that it was the right question to ask, because if something had happened, Vasco would have been the first one to know whether he wanted it or not.

 

“Was something supposed to happen?”

 

“Everybody seems to think so”.

 

“And by everybody you mean…”

 

“Tiziana and Kalden, they have a bet going on about how long it takes you two to, you know…”

 

“No, I don’t”, Cicero said. He was angry at himself because he should have known, he felt like he had known the thing one was supposed to know and yet there he was. “Why only Tiziana and Kalden? You’re not one to turn down a bet”.

 

Vasco’s smile extended as he winked and put some space between them to stand before Cicero, taking Oli in his arms, “I play to win, my friend, and that is why I’ve put some of my crescents into  _ another  _ bet with Vint”.

 

“Vint?”

 

“Cicero!”, Orlana called from the distance, waving a hand. She was getting closer and Vasco took it as his cue to leave his friend in relative peace. With a smile, Vasco left in a hurry not before some parting words.

 

“We’ll continue later,  _ when  _ you come with me to buy some things. There’s a vendor that might catch your interest”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Vasco knows too much, he'll eventually kick up the plot but as of now, he just wants to have fun and be kind of helpful at the same time.
> 
> Kind of.
> 
> SO I GUESS THIS IS A MULTICHAPTERED FIC NOW I SHOULD UPDATE THE TAGS FUCK
> 
> omg why am i writing this, why am i even writing anything please stop me. really. This game deserves so much more and this is what I'm doing.
> 
> I'm reaping-bells on tumblr, you can scream at me there if you want.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kalden deserves all the gifts he gets and more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to shower Kalden in gifts and happiness.

Sunskull was not the easiest material to carve, Kalden knew that.

 

And yet, he held a sphere smaller than his thumb with a smiling face made out of it.

 

“I tried to make a bird, but looked more like a horse so I tried a boat, for the whole Mariner aesthetic and, well, that ended up so much worse so I tried a flower but… Just take it, please”. Cicero was a blabbering mess, all fast talk and wild gestures to hide how red his face was from Kalden.

 

The Mariner was speechless at first, looking at the white sphere on the palm of his hand like it was made of gold. Which was funny, because had it been made of gold, it’d have less value.

 

“Come on, Kal, don’t leave a man in suspense. I’ve had enough mysteries for a Canticle”, Cicero said. He scratched the back of his head and switched his weight from one feet to the other. Then screamed in surprise when a pair of strong arms swept him from the floor.

 

Kalden laughed while rising Cicero in a crushing hug, hiding his face on the Inspettore’s shoulder. He would deny he had cried, even if he had failed to hide his happy tears from his face or Cicero’s shirt.

 

It was endearing how this big and strong man had such a soft heart for sentimentalities.

 

“I’ll treasure it forever”, Kalden said before putting Cicero down on the floor.

 

“Or at least until I learn how to carve something decent”.

 

“No need, my friend, this is as perfect as they come”, Kalden told him, thinking his words truer than ever. “But I could teach you nonetheless”.

 

 

* * *

 

He hung the sphere from his neck with a necklace. Vint noticed it and mentioned that she didn’t know whose smile was bigger, the one carved on the piece of sunskull or his own.

 

Kalden knew the answer, of course. It was Cicero’s.

 

They were cooking dinner for the kids back at the Sailheart. A couple of new faces joined their little home some days ago and had started to adapt pretty well, mourning aside, but the Inspettore’s offer kept coming back to his mind. More kids would be needing a place to stay and the Sailheart did not have enough space to house anyone else.

Jaxus would have put the kids first. Kalden would have done so too, before he died.

 

A couple of knocks on his door interrupted his thoughts. One of the new kids ran to open it and received their unknown guest with giggles.

 

Tiziana entered the Sailheart holding the kid’s hand as the little boy pulled her inside. She was wearing her armor but her sword was nowhere in sight. She was holding a bag of considerable size instead.

 

“Let me help you with that!”, Kalden said rushing to take the package from her hands.

 

“It’s yours to keep anyways, Mariner”, Tiziana said. “I see this ship has new members in its crew”.

 

“No crew is big enough to sail these seas!”

 

Vint snorted, “Stop with the horrible jokes in front of the kids, they’ll give them nightmares”.

 

Kalden ignored her in order to open the bag. It was an armor cleaning kit, with wax, cloth and some strange powder he remembered Jaxus used to store somewhere in their old room. “Thank you, Tiziana. Let me pay you for these”.

 

“Just try and I might cut your arm off, Mariner”, she said. A chuckle came out of her mouth before she could stop it to maintain her serious facade.

 

“At least join us for diner? You can actually tell me how to use all of this”.

 

“My pleasure. I can show you even how to correctly apply the wax, hoping your armor hasn’t got much rust”.

 

Kalden froze, wondering if he could trust her with this. They had battled against Lucia together and she was the one to keep him steady while he tried to heal Cicero’s massive wounds. Of course he could. “It’s for Jaxus’ armor”, he said. Tiziana changed her expression into a softer one and placed a hand on his arm, squeezing lightly. “He loved to keep it in pristine condition. It’s been over a year and I couldn’t get myself to do it for him. I don’t know if I’ll be able to do this”.

 

“It’s never too late, Kalden. I’m sure he’d appreciate the gesture”.

 

“He would, after complaining for letting it get so much dust over it and everything else, someone could get allergies!”

 

“Preposterous!”

 

Vint grunted, “What in Ages is wrong with your sense of humor, people?!”

 

As they sat at the table after serving the kids, Tiziana spoke, “nice necklace, one of your kids made it?”

 

“Oh, this?”, Kalden said touching it with the tips of his fingers, feeling them tingle at the contact, “no, no, it was from Cicero. I think it looks perfect”.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My headcanon is that Tiziana and Kalden have a terrible sense of humor no one really understands, not even themselves, so everyone just stands around waiting for them to either explain their "jokes" (which they never do because in reality there were no jokes at all) or complains like Vint because she lives with the man and has to hear him say that kind of nonsense 24/7.
> 
> Vasco just rolls with it because he loves Tiziana so much but he did, in fact, have a nightmare because of those two involving a joke contest and a shield made of cheese.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm reaping-bells on tumblr but I'm mostly an Overwatch blog. A Reaper76 Overwatch blog. Still, you can scream at me about Masquerada, I need it.


End file.
